Sickroom Psychodrama
by obsidians
Summary: When Nabiki gets the flu in school while her family's away, Kuno gets a taste of what it's like to live at the Tendo house. Just meant to be cute and funny, not really sexy.
1. Chapter 1

Kuno had finished his test in record time and took the time to see other people's reactions to it. He couldn't help noting that the normally ramrod straight Nabiki seemed to be slumping in her seat. In fact she'd been uncharacteristically quiet that day and hadn't uttered the dreaded 'Kuno-Baby' once to him that day.

Nabiki felt horrible, she felt dizzy and light headed, her head pounded and her stomach roiled in protest at the breakfast she had forced herself to consume, refusing to admit that she was ill. Today's test was highly important and she'd spent half of the night studying for it. She'd woke up feeling like this but didn't want to have to do a makeup test when she was so ready for it, so she'd dragged herself to school. She was shivering but almost done. Right after, she was planning to go to the nurse's office to be allowed to leave early due to medical reasons. She hoped that she hadn't got the flu that had really had knocked Akane on her butt the week before. She sighed with relief when the teacher said 'pencils down'. She stood up to asked to be excused and then her nausea increased and to her embarrassment, she found herself leaning over and puking on the floor.

Kuno's eyes open wide in shock when he saw the ice princess throwing up, he was the first to react as he was the closest to her and found himself supporting her and pushing her hair back. He pulled out his pack of disposable Kleenexes and handed one to the embarrassed looking girl.

"Miss Tendo, what seems to be the problem?" their teacher inquired.

"I don't feel well" she said in a small voice.

Kuno realized that he still had his arm around her and let it drop with a blush. However, he did put his hand on her forehead. "She's burning up" he confirmed.

"Okay Tatewaki, please take Nabiki to the nurse's office" his teacher said.

"But why me?" he demanded.

"You two seem close and she's always taking you there" his teacher pointed out. Kuno blushed while the people in his class tittered at this; he could have sworn that his teacher was implying that _she_ was taking him there for something _other _then medical attention.

"It's okay, I should just go home" Nabiki said, feeling worse now that she was standing up.

"After the nurse sees to you" her teacher insisted. "Now Tatewaki come get your hall passes."

He got a sucked in sort of feeling as he led her to the nurse's office. He felt humiliated to be singled out in class like that and that people were going to be gossiping about him and the mercenary girl who, he quite frankly didn't much care for. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to embarrass you" Nabiki said, feeling bad and more emotional due to being ill.

Kuno looked at her in surprise, having never heard her apologize for anything before. "Its okay" he replied. He had to admit that she looked really pale and seemed to be sweating.

He waited while the nurse examined her, expecting her to call someone to come get her so that he could go back to class.

"It's the flu alright, you need to go home and rest" she said.

"I shall' Nabiki said and got shakily to her feet.

"Would you see Miss Tendo home?" the nurse asked him. "I could call the office and get you both dismissed for the day."

"But why me?" he asked. "Why not get one of her sisters to see her home?" he asked her.

"Ranma and Akane are not in school today" the nurse replied.

"It's okay Kuno, you don't have to, I can see myself home" she replied.

He noticed that she was shaking and said,"come on let's get you home" grudgingly.

Being out in public was even worse for Nabiki as her head throbbed from the bright light and the noises of the people around her. She tried to walk and found herself weaving drunkenly. "Here hold onto my arm" Kuno said in irritation when everyone started to look at him as if he was a potential rapist who had dosed a school girl with something nasty and was taking her somewhere to take advantage of her. "She has the flu" he found himself explaining to everyone to who looked at him suspiciously while Nabiki clung to his arm pathetically.

He knocked on the door, expecting her sister Kasumi to open it up and take charge of the situation; the oddly submissive Nabiki was making him feel uncomfortable. "They're not home; Akane and Kasumi have gone to visit Aunt Nodoka and everyone else's on a training trip" Nabiki explained, opening the door with her key. "You can go, I'll just go to bed" she said and then bolted to the washroom in order to throw up again.

Leaving Kuno no choice but to lock the door after them and follow her, he waited outside when until the unhappy pukey sounds stopped and she came out looking even worse then before. He had the odd sucked in feeling again and then sighed and said. "Which one is your room?"

Without speaking, she pointed to the one with her name on a duck. He opened the door and drew the drapes and turned on the light. Nabiki lowered herself on her bed with a groan. "Where do you keep your pajamas?" Kuno asked, he'd always strived to get into a Tendo girl's bedroom and now here he was in one...and it was the wrong one!

"Bottom drawer" Nabiki answered, so used to having someone looking after her when she was sick that she barely registered that it was Kuno. He blushed slightly as he sifted through her night attire, not that any of it was scanty, but that he wasn't used to helping a girl prepare for bed. He purposely chose a plain grey cotton sleep shirt. "Put this on, I'll be outside the door" he said awkwardly and stood in the hallway.

"I'm ready" she called and he found her sitting on the bed again.

"Why aren't you in bed?" he asked her.

"You have to tuck me in" Nabiki replied.

"T-tuck you in!" he stuttered in shock and then realized that Nabiki was like his sister in the respect that when they got sick, they shifted to the mental age of about three. Which was fine if she was his sister and not a teenaged girl whose room he was alone in with her...and in an empty house no less! "Okay here, get under the covers" he said pulling them back and she scooted under them. as quickly as he could, he pulled them up to her chin and wished he'd chosen a longer night shirt when this showed almost the entirety of her bare legs.

"Okay I'm going to go now. Do you need anything before I leave?" he asked her.

"Mr. Jamers" she said.

"What's that?" he asked.

"My teddy bear, I keep him in the truck over there" she said and he could have sworn that she pouted.

He lifted the lid and discovered a beaten up pink bear and brought it to her and was surprised when she cuddled it to her. "Would you like some water or something?" he asked her.

"Can I have a kiss?" she asked him.

His eyes bugged out at this request. He didn't like how she was acting, but at least she wasn't baby talking like his sister did with her 'thore tummy'. Was this to be his future if he married either one of his two loves, for them to turn into giant infants in pigtails and clutch teddy bears to themselves when they got sick and expected the men in their lives to dance attendance on them? Not that he wouldn't. He was baffled by the idea that each woman executive or CEO might own a pair of bunny slippers and a childish pink nightgown to hold their husbands hostage with. "Kiss?" he cried and then a frown when she turned huge puppy eyes on him.

"Kasumi always kisses me when I'm sick" she pouted.

Kuno could feel his face go hot as he pictured something out of a girl on girl porn movie. "Where does she kiss you?" he asked keeping his voice as calm as possible.

"First on the forehead to check my temperature and then on the cheek" she replied.

"Okay I can do that" he replied, bending over her bed and doing so, he was glad that it wasn't something more outlandish like wanting to sit on his lap or get a story read to her. Then he realized how much she was burning up, suddenly all comedic value went out of the scene. "Do you have a thermometer?" he asked her.

"In the medicine cabinet" she replied.

He went and retrieved it and on instinct said "say ah" and Nabiki complied by opening her mouth. He didn't like when it read, one hundred and two degrees. He knew that this wasn't life threatening but what if it went higher when she was alone? He didn't need this today of all days, he'd invited (okay bribed) a famous Kendo Master to speak to his club today and demonstrate some of his signature moves. "Where's Kasumi getting back?" he asked her in an even sounding voice.

"Tomorrow" she answered. "Father's picking her up on his way home"

"Is there I friend I can call to come stay with you?" he asked through gritted teeth.

"They're all in school" she replied. with a pout, clearly displeased at the idea. "It's okay, I'll just sleep"

"That's fine, I'll get you some water in case you get thirsty, a bag of ice for your forehead and a bowl in case you need to vomit again" he said, rushing to get all that. He realized what if he left in the next twenty minutes, that he'd make it to the meeting. Oh the rest of the Kendo Captains would be green with envy about the Master coming to his school!

He stopped in his tracks when Nabiki sat up and said "you mean you're actually going to leave me all alone? What if I get worse?" she asked with a sniffle in her voice that would have done little orphan Annie proud.

"You're sick, you need plenty of rest. What better place to get it then and empty house? I could even call you later to see how you are" he volunteered.

"Fine, if I don't pick up the phone, it's because I'm too sick to get out of bed" she said, turning over and facing away from him.

"Nabiki, there's something really important going on in my Kendo club today. How about I just go to that and then come back" he practically begged her.

"I'm thirsty" she whined.

"Great, I'll get you some water" he said.

"I don't want that. I want half a glass of gingerale with a slice of lime and a purple bendy straw" she said.

"I'll go make that and then I have to go" he said.

"We're out of gingerale" Nabiki said.

That stopped him dead in his tracks. "Can I get you something else?" he asked, forcing calmness into his voice.

"No, that's what Kasumi always fixes for me when I'm sick" she whined.

"Okay I'll find a convenience store, be right back" he promised and managed to find one a few blocks over. Realize that he didn't want to go searching for everything, he just asked for the straws, lime and gingerale in one shot.

"I only have orange bendy straws, will they do?" he asked him.

Remembering his own experience with his sister when she was sick, he replied "I believe that the colour is important to the experience."

"Oh well have it your way pal" he said with a shrug and packed up his groceries. "Wait do you have flu medication?" Kuno asked, realizing that he might have to pick up other things and tried to anticipate them.

"Oh I see do you have a sick child?" he asked him, dubiously at what age he appeared to be.

"Something like that" he confirmed and Kuno added one of each type of commercial flu medication to his order and a jug of orange juice just in case.

"Here's your gingerale, now I'll be back in about two hours" he promised, only to hear her vomiting. He sighed and reached for the bowl when she sheepishly handed it to him. "I'll clean this out and then I'll go" he said through gritted teeth.

"Can't you read to me until I go to sleep?" she asked him, giving him puppy dog eyes again.

"What would you like me to read to you?" he asked her, sitting down on her bed with a sigh, figuring that she would be asleep in a few minutes.

"This book" she said handing it to him.

"The Sword and the Sheath? Is this some sort of book about fencing?" he asked.

"Something like that" Nabiki said.

He opened the book and read, "Sebastian couldn't control himself any longer. He breathed her name, "Silhouette" and starting lightly kissing her neck. Shockwaves ran up and down her spine at the feel of his lips on her bare neck. He moved up and started nibbling on the sensual points of her ears. She let out a soft moan and pushed herself deeper into his lap. He was possessed with his desire for her. He un-circled his hands from around her waist and in one swift motion forced open her closed legs, which rested on top of his own. She let out a gasp and he moved his hands up her inner thighs, continually kissing and suckling her neck…." he finished when he realized what he was reading. "What is this porn?" he asked Nabiki, her eyes were noticeably drooping.

"Don't stop" she said tapping the page.

With his cheeks flaming, the virgin boy read out loud things he'd only ever dreamed about doing with a woman while Nabiki cuddled her teddy bear and smiled up at him encouragingly. The counterpoint between the innocent scene before him and the sheer carnality of what he was reading was almost too much for him. Especially when her hand rested trustingly on his thigh, he looked up after telling tales of what Sebastian's sword conquering Silhouette's sweet sheath. Realizing she was asleep, he gently removed her hand from his person, drew the blankets up a bit more over her and tiptoed out with the skill of a ninja. Realizing he could make the last twenty minutes of his meeting, he decided that he would at least go meet the master and take him out for dinner as he'd planned and then come back and decide who to arrange to stay with Nabiki. By now he had almost started feeling responsible for her; this baffled him seeing how he didn't much like her in the first place.

He'd almost made it to the door when there was a thunderous knocking on it; he wrenched it open and glared at the huge man outside of it. "I'm here to challenge your dojo" he said in a booming voice.

"Do you mind keeping it down? There's sick teenage girl in there" Kuno snapped.

"I said I'm here to challenge your dojo" he bellowed again.

"Shhhhhh" Kuno tried to silence him. "There's been some mistake, this isn't my dojo" he said.

"Are you not a Tendo?" he boomed again.

"No my name is Tatewaki Kuno, age 17 and I am Blue Thunder of Furinkan High School" he replied.

"Oh do you have a dojo?" he boomed.

"I said keep it down. No I don't. Look I'm here with my…" he struggled to think of a way to describe his relationship with Nabiki "my friend, Nabiki, she's a Tendo" he explained, "but she's…"

"Come answer my challenge Nabiki Tendo" he yelled.

"You idiot, do you want to wake her up? She doesn't even know martial arts" Kuno hissed at him. "Look challenge her father, Soun or Mr. Saotome, they're who you want. They're coming back tomorrow"

He stiffen when an armcame around him and Nabiki leaned against his shoulder "Who is it Kuno-Baby?" she asked sleepily. In her short night shirt with sleep rumpled hair, it looked like they'd been doing a lot more in her bedroom than reading. Especially with how familiarly she was touching him.

This caused the large man to blush, "I'm terribly sorry to interrupt, I know how young lover sonly gets slim chances to be alone together. Tell your father I'll be back tomorrow" he said, shuffling his feet nervously in the dirt.

"It's not like that at all, she's sick!" Kuno stammered with a blush. He had to admit with her flushed face and the fact that she was perspiring, did indeed look like they'd been making love."

"Oh you're going to be a father, congrats. You might want to marry her before her father figures it out. You know I think I'll just avoid this dojo, have a nice evening" he said and hurried off.

"Kuno, why does he think I'm pregnant?" she asked him.

"No reason, let's get you back to bed" he said abandoning all gentlemanly tactics, he simply picked her up and carried her up the stairs a la Rhett and Scarlett. "Would you another drink?" he asked when he'd tucked her forcefully into the bed, as if wishing to bury her alive.

"Yes that'd be great" she replied.

"Sure, one gingerale coming up" he said, glad he'd managed to find the purple bendy straws and had gritted his teeth when Nabiki had shown him how she liked how the light shone through it as she drank from it. He realized that the demonstration must be over, but it there was time to meet the master and take him to dinner.

"But I want orange juice" she said with a pout.

"Coming right up" he said with triumph. He wondered why she frowned when she looked at it. "What's wrong?" he asked her.

"There's no pulp" she said with a whimper in her voice.

"It's still orange juice!" he said, practically shoving it at her in irritation.

"But Kasumi always makes me homemade" she said with a pout.

She wondered why Kuno suddenly raked his hands through his hair until it was practically standing up on end. "Its there any place around here to buy some homemade stuff?" he asked her.

"There's a health food store a couple of blocks over" she said.

"Okay you wait here, I'll be right back" he said and darted down the street. He called his vice president in a flat out run. "What happened?" he asked him as he pelted down the street.

"It was awe inspiring, what skill and a great guy too. He's taking us all to dinner after this" the other boy gushed. "But where are you?" he asked him.

"That's complicated" he said and then dashed into the store, "a jug of fresh squeezed orange juice" he shouted at the confused clerk.

"What was that?" his friend asked.

"Nothing. Where are you going? Okay tell him I'll meet him there" he said as he dashed back to the Tendo residence.

"Here's your orange juice" he said, panting for breath.

"I got myself some more gingerale" she retorted.

"Very good, now why don't you try and sleep? I'll be an hour at most and then I'll come back and we'll decide who's going to stay with you" he said in the cheeriest voice he could.

"But I'm untucked" she protested.

"There you go, now you're a burrito girl" he said tucking the blankets forcefully around her and not giving a crap what he touched on her. He kissed both cheeks and her forehead and then had to redo it as he'd apparently done it in '\the wrong order.

"Couldn't you read to me a little more?" she asked him/

"Okay five more minutes" he said in a strangled voice and read more about Sebastian's marvelous manhood and was satisfied to see that she was asleep. He snuck down the stairs and was surprised to see a beautiful girl with bright green hair, who had a giant leek on her back. "You have to be Ranma" she said, flinging her arms around him. She leaned back and said "I really lucked out. You're a hunk" she declared.

"And who might you be?" he asked.

"My name's Yoko Tanaka, didn't your father tell you about your fiancée?" she asked him.

"let me guess your family runs some sort of food based martial arts and your father engaged you to Ranma in exchange for food to feed his father, Genma?" he guessed.

"Aren't you Ranma?" she asked him.

"No I'm a suitor of one of his _other_ fiancées, Tatewaki Kuno" he explained.

"How many does he have?" she asked him.

"Four at last count, but there was briefly a fifth one I believe" Kuno said with a frown.

"Oh I guess I wasted a trip" she said sadly.

"How did you find him?" he asked her, wanting to know for once and all why everyone kept on finding him.

"His website" she explained. "It shows the global positioning his phone, so it's not too hard to figure it out" she replied.

"That makes sense" Kuno said dully.

"I guess I should go, gee I came such a long way to meet him and am awfully thristy" she said sadly.

Noticing that she looked upset, he fumed and then said "come in and I'll explain the situation." Borrowing Akane's photo from her room , he explained who was who over tea. "So you see. He already has Shampoo engaged to him over a cultural mistake. Ukyou over a food cart, Akane over the piece of crap of a dojo that is falling down around the back and my sister simply because she wants to be, and then there's you who does….some kind of soup martial arts?" he guessed, eyeing her leek.

"Bread making" she corrected him.

"Okay bread making. Yoko, you seem like a nice girl and are certainly attractive, probably a great martial artist as well, but so are all the rest of the fiancées. Do you really want to waste your youth chasing after him along with all the rest of the girls?" he asked her.

She blushed at this, "actually I wanted to ask him if he would break it off. There's someone else" she explained. Just then Nabiki came downstairs still holding her teddy bear.

"Kuno Baby I hurt everywhere and I think my fever's getting worse" she complained and to his shock, she sat in his lap. "Would you give me a cool sponge bath like Kasumi does when I feel like this?" she asked him, putting her head on his shoulder and peering at Yoko.

"Nabiki Tendo, I've been more then patient with you. but you go too far. OF COURSE I CANNOT SPONGE BATHE YOU" he raged.

She just pouted and starting playing with his hair and then idly turned her attention to Yoko. "Who are you?" she asked her without any real curiosity.

"This is Yoko Tanaka; she's a fiancée of Ranma. This is Nabiki Tendo" he said, wondering why she was still sitting on his lap.

"Oh another one" she remarked. "Will you take me back to bed Kuno-Baby?" she asked him, putting her arms around his shoulders and looking up at him.

"Sorry did I interrupt something?" Yoko asked.

"She's sick" he said with his face flaming.

"I should go, I guess it's time to stand up to my dad and tell him that Ranma's already married" she said with a giggle and left, feeling vaguely sorry for the cute boy she'd just met.

"Okay you're going back to bed" he said decisively carrying her up the stairs again. "Now open your mouth, I'm taking your temperature" he ordered.

"I don't want to, I want a cool sponge bath" she stubbornly said.

"Why not just carve 'Ranma kill me into' my forehead? Not going to happen. Not open your mouth" he snarled.

"No" she said.

"Might I remind you that people have two holes from which a temperature can be taken? You've been testing my limits all night long, I don't believe in forcing anything upon a woman, but this is about to go into another hole of my choosing if you _don't open your fucking mouth up_" he snarled.

Nabiki pouted and opened it up. Kuno's realized that she now was one hundred and three and knew he needed to cool her off. "Okay I'll give you a sponge bath" he said and got a bunch of towels.

With his eyes blindfolded and wearing gloves, he wiped her down with a cool cloth while she made sounds of appreciation that were almost orgasmic. He didn't take the blindfold off until she was safely dressed and in bed. He hung his head in defeat, knowing that it was way too late and he'd never had a chance to meet the master he'd paid to come to his kendo club. "Want me to read some more?" he asked her with a sigh and didn't even complain in the least when she pillowed her head on his shoulder and arranged the covers over them both. "Where were we? Ah….she grabbed his buttocks and pushed him harder into her. What was he waiting for, she thought. She was in agony and needed to feel him…" he read and he could feel his own eyes closing when her's did and the two of them fell sleep in each other's arms.

The next day he was awaked by the stony glares of her family and the Saotomes'. He pressed his finger to his lips and stood up, showing that he was fully dressed. "Look your daughter has the flu, I was here taking care of her last night" he whispered when he got downstairs with them.

"You expect me to believe that!" Ranma snarled.

"It's the truth" Kasumi said, "I just asked Nabiki and she confirmed it" she supplied.

"Sir you can't believe that I would take advantage of a sick young woman. She wasn't well so I agreed to stay with her" he said. "She's legitimately sick I assure you...and acting like a child" he added.

Kasumi laughed "yes she does do that, it's really cute. All you have to do is say no and she stops pestering people" she explained.

"Indeed" Kuno said in a bitter voice. "Well as it now seems that Nabiki has been safely delivered back to the bosom of her family. I shall depart for my own home" he announced.

"Wait wouldn't you like to stay for breakfast or at least to borrow a hairbrush?" Kasumi called, eyeing the hair practically standing on top of his head, it wasn't a great look on him.

"All I wish to do is get out of this mad house before I become one of it's inhabitants. By the way, you all might be expecting a visit from someone wishing to challenged your dojo; he's a charming, really large gentleman whose name I didn't get, I told him when you'd be back and who to ask for. Also a lovely green haired girl named Yoko Tanaka to who mapparently Mr. Saotome offered her father Ranma's hand in marriage in exchange for unlimited bread from his restaurant. She might be dropping by" Kuno offered sweetly.

"Another one pops!" Ranma yelled and then looked up and he read the Panda's sign"Never heard of her"

"You son of a bitch" he called as he started chasing him. "Don't talk about your grandmother that way" the other side of the sign read.

"Have a nice day" Kuno called and happily went back to his mansion where all of its inhabitants were sane.


	2. Chapter 2

Nabiki's Turn

Kuno decided that he no longer disliked Nabiki Tendo, but loathed the very vile ground she walked on, when he got her flu. For three days he pushed himself to maintain his usual routine, which was a balance of schooling and physical fitness and loathed at how his own traitorous body protested by raising his temperature and supplying more body pains to those that he already had. He felt miserable but refused to give into the sickness, his preferred method was to increase his level of physical activity and sweat it out of his system. This didn't seem to be working so well however.

He felt like he was going to vomit again and purposely chose a bathroom that was in an awkward location that few people ever ventured into it as far as he knew. It never seemed to be very clean and he'd often wondered about the odd smell of the place when he'd used it in the past. He wrinkled his nose distastefully and carefully put paper towels on the floor of the stall before leaning over the toilet and tossing his cookies. He froze when he heard the door open.

"That you Kuno-Baby?" Nabiki's voice rang out; this was confirmed to her by the bare feet and large pants protruding under the door of the stall.

"Nabiki Tendo, what are you doing here? You shouldn't be in the boy's washroom" he protested, after scrubbing his face with tissue and emerging from the stall as causally as he could.

"I came to see what you were doing in the bridal suite, it's not like you had a girl with you. I now see that you got my flu" she said, looking at him shrewdly.

"I most certainly did not.." he protested. "Wait what do you mean by the bridal suite?" he demanded.

"You mean that you don't know? This is where guys and girls come to have sex" Nabiki replied, showing him all the used condoms in the garbage, this caused him to blush.

"How dare they desecrate our school by making love on school property!" he cried with a frown and then looked around, not able to see anything resembling a bed. "How?" he asked her dumbly.

"More like fucking; making love conjures up images of silk sheets, flowers and champagne. I imagine that they screw up against the walls or perhaps on toilet tanks or seats, or maybe the countertops? I certainly couldn't see anyone using the floor" Nabiki mused, looking around speculatively.

"Enough" Kuno said blushing a painful red colour. "Do you have to use that vulgar language? Do you kiss your father with that mouth" he demanded, the images she was conjuring to his brain were rather stimulating and almost nauseating at the same time.

"Come on Kuno-Baby, let's get you to the nurse's office" she said taking his wrist to tow him forward.

"I'm not sick" he retorted and his mouth opened in protest and surprise when she had the nerve to touch the exposed skin of his chest and then his forehead.

"Then why are you shivering the feverish?" she countered.

"Kindly keep your hands to yourself" he snapped. "I merely have a bit of a cold" he said with as much dignity as he could muster.

"Sorry, not buying what you're selling. Come to the nurse with me and if she says that you're fine, I'll leave you alone" she said stubbornly.

"Fine prepare to be proven wrong" he said, marching ahead of her. Then it dawned on him, "wait people might have seen us emerging from the 'bridal suite' together. Won't they suspect that we were fu—fornicating?" he corrected himself when Nabiki shot him a look of amusement.

"Don't worry Kuno-Baby, no one would ever suspect that of you" Nabiki replied and then laughed, leaving Kuno confused what she meant by that.

He endured her smirk while the nurse took his temperature and did a cursory examination of him. "You have the flu Mr. Kuno, I'm sending you home" she said.

"I'm fine! I'm going back to class" Kuno protested.

"You're a walking virus right now who could infect other students. I don't think so, you need proper bed rest, to drink lots of fluids and eat healthy foods. You need to allow yourself time to heal" she chided him.

"I'll make sure he does all that" Nabiki said, taking his arm. "We'd better inform our teacher that we're leaving for the day" she said to him.

"What do you mean _you_ will?" he protested.

"I'm getting you to bed" she said stubbornly, causing people to overhear her and giggle.

"You most certainly are _not_ coming home with me….." he cried "and I most definitely don't need your assistance getting into bed; I'm not an infant" he cried.

"What was that?" their teacher asked.

"Kuno-Baby has the flu and he doesn't want me to take him home and tuck him into bed" Nabiki said with a pout, causing Kuno's face do a tomato impression when other students started tittering about this.

"Nabiki, you can tuck me into bed whenever you want" one student jeered, while others wolf whistled at this.

"That's quite enough" their teacher said, sharing a look of amusement with some of her students. The poor kind hearted fool of a teacher was under the impression that Tatewaki and Nabiki were sweet on each other and as result tried to find excuses to throw them together.

"Do you have a parent or a blood relation over the age of eighteen that can come get you?" she asked him, knowing full well that his father was the principal.

"Well no…" he said.

"Very well, then Nabiki shall accompany you home" she said filling out the necessary paperwork.

"Could you choose someone else?" he asked her.

"Why? She seems to like spending time with you and has already volunteered" his teacher pointed out. "Besides as you said, you don't have any parents at home, surely it will be nice to have a friend comfort you in your time of need"

"I would sooner be comforted by a man hating lesbian, on the rag with a penchant towards male castration" Kuno stated.

"What do you mean by that?" their teacher asked.

"Kuno-Baby gets stubborn when he's sick, come on" she said tugging him by the sleeve and reluctantly, he left with her. His head throbbed with every step and he was angry at the public humiliation that she'd caused him.

"Go home, you're not invited to my place!" he groused.

"I said I would see you there and I am" she replied, nonplussed.

"I don't want you there!" he snapped.

"How do I know you're going to go to bed? For all I know you're going to go on a fifteen mile hike" she replied, taking his arm as if it was her right.

"I don't recall you being elected my keeper" he said, yanking it out of her grasp.

"Let's just say that a Tendo always pays their debts. I heard about what happened at your Kendo club the night you stayed with me and I want to return the favour" she said.

"I certainly don't require that level of care from you or anyone else for that matter. If you wish to cancel that supposed debt, just GET OUT OF MY SIGHT" he practically screamed into her ear.

"Good luck with that, not stop pouting and let's get you home" she said, taking his arm again and attempting to drag him forward. The result was that of a tiny ant attempting to tow a bear and Kuno could feel himself blush when guys started laughing as Nabiki sank her feet into the ground and grunted forward.

"I'm _not_ pouting!" he cried and reluctantly started to move in tandem with her.

"Yes you are, stop acting like a giant baby!" she snapped.

"It's you who seems to be somewhat of an authority on acting like an infant" he snapped back and both brooded as they walked to the Kuno mansion in silence.

Kuno was gladder to see his bed then he would admit and didn't even care when Nabiki walked into his room after him, as if she was there all the time. He felt even worse and the time spent with her had given him a headache to boot. He resolved that he would take a nap just to get her out of his hair and then he would get up and do a good workout. He waited for her to leave his room so that he could undress, but instead she just stood there watching him intently.

"Well what you are waiting for?" she asked him and to his shock, started undoing the ties of his shirt.

"What are you doing?" he demanded, holding it closed, looking to all the world like an outraged virgin; which he was.

"Helping you undress" she said.

"You are to never touch my person without my permission again" he cried as blushes suffused his face.

"Yeesh you think I've never seen a naked man before? You don't have anything I haven't seen before. What are you trying to hide a deformity or something?" Nabiki asked him.

"There is nothing wrong with my body, I'm just not used to getting undressed in mixed company and that's not a thing I intend to get used to" he replied in outrage.

" How to you intend to get married then? What a prude" Nabiki commented.

"I'm not a prude" he said. "I just have a certain degree of modesty that apparently you lack. What do you mean you've seen a naked man before?" he asked her suspiciously.

"You think I can live in a small house with that many males and not accidently walk in on people sometimes? Besides Ranma doesn't really tend to wear that much in the mornings and likes to touch himself in the dojo when he thinks no one sees him, however I see all" Nabiki admitted.

"You watch people? That's against the law" Kuno thundered.

"Whatever, why don't you take your clothes off and I'll give you a nice sponge bath and then tuck you into bed" Nabiki said tugging at his shirt ties again. He was so shocked by what she'd said that he barely registered when it slipped from him and then his hakama pants slid down to pool at his ankles.

"What do you think you're doing?" he cried, tugging them up.

"I would have figured you for a briefs kind of man, but boxers are supposed to be better for sperm production" Nabiki commented, eyeing his plaid boxers shorts.

"I don't wish to discuss about my fertility or organs of my generation with you. Get out!" he cried.

"Okay, I'll go get a bowl of cool water, some towels and a wash cloth" she said and departed.

"No don't!" he cried and then dove into bed and buried himself in blankets, wondering if she'd lost her mind, he was starting to think he preferred her when she was sick.

"Hey I'm supposed to be the one who tucks you in" she protested.

"I'm already in bed, you did as you promised, now go!" he said.

"You voice sounds awful, I'll bet it feels dry and scratchy. Sasuke found me some cough medicine", she replied, placing the other stuff aside and pulling a bottle of noxious looking pink stuff that he recognized as belonging to his sister when she was sick. Nabiki produced a spoon and then carefully poured some into it. "Say ah" she said.

"Woman again, I'm not an infant and I don't used that vile stuff, all it is is nasty chemicals mixed with alcohol and sugar" he snarled.

"Take it" she said.

"I refuse" he said huffily.

"Oh really? Perhaps my little sister would like to know that it was you and not Happosai who stole her favourite yellow lace panties off our washing line?" Nabiki said.

"Not fair, I paid you to get them for me" he pointed out.

"Which one of us do you think she's going to believe?" Nabiki said with her smirk.

Kuno glared back at her and opened his mouth. She promptly made him swallow the vile tasting medicine. "Now it's time for your sponge bath" she said, trying to pull back the covers.

"No, I'm only wearing my boxer shorts" he protested, tugging them back.

"They cover you as much as your swim trunks do, what's the difference?" she asked him.

"The difference is that you're a _female_, who's alone with a man in his bedroom, whether invited or not and I'm practically naked. Leave now!" he growled.

"Look you have a fever; this'll help bring it down. It'll cool you down and make you feel a lot better" she said, tugging hard on his blankets.

"I just want to nap, leave now!" he said, wrestling his blankets back. It was like something out of his erotic dreams about Akane and the Pigtailed Girl, where they were battling over which one got to take his virginity, only with a distasteful twist.

"You will as soon as I bath you" she insisted.

He glared at her, "if I let you, you'll leave me alone?" he asked her.

"I swear" she said and then she pushed his covers off him while he blushed. He shivered slightly as she gently wiped down his limbs with her cool cloth, avoiding the areas covered by his boxers, then started on his chest, face and temples, it felt so soothing and he blushed slightly when he let out a contented sigh.

"Feels nice doesn't it?" Nabiki asked with a smirk.

"It is rather pleasant," he said with as much dignity as he could manage. "Now are we done here?" he asked, sitting up and to his surprise, she promptly started massaging his shoulders. "What do you think you're doing? Cease molly coddling me this instant! Is touching me a new fetish for you or something?" he asked, wrenching himself away from her.

"You look all sore and achy, would you like a massage? I do it for my father after he works out. I have magic fingers I'm told" she said.

Kuno didn't know which Nabiki made him more nervous, the tough cynical one he normally encountered or this oddly nice one….then there was sick Nabiki, but that was another story. "No I do not need anything from you but your absence. I have a professional masseuse on speed dial that will come to me anytime, day or night. You honestly think that I need anything from you" he said and then groaned when her small hands resumed their task and he felt his aches melting away like butter.

"Now just lie down and I'll take care of you" she said and smiled in victory when he lay across his bed while she kneaded his flesh until he was almost asleep…..all but one part that is. She smiled at his noises of contentment and then whispered. "Why don't you get into bed now?"

"Could you shut your eyes for a second?" he asked her in a strangled voice.

"Popped a boner huh? Nothing to be embarrassed about, it's your body responding to being caressed" she explained.

"I'm not embarrassed about it, nor an idiot. I have lived with it for seventeen years and as result, know quite a bit about how it functions thank you very much. I just wish that you give me privacy in order to maintain a certain degree of decorum after you have already seen me pretty much naked and now probably know the contours of my body by heart" he snarled.

'You have a nice body" she commented, causing him to blush again.

"Just go away!" he practically begged her.

"Okay I'll go get you some gingerale, do you have bendy straws?" she asked him with a frown.

"I don't need a straw, bendy or otherwise, gingerale sounds good, but a full glass of it and no lime" he called after her and then cursed that he was going along with her. His eyes were drifting shut when she returned.

"Here's your gingerale and I got you a cool cloth" she said and laid it aside and then to his surprise, kissed him in the manner she'd insisted that he do to her when she was sick….and he found himself enjoying it very much to his surprise, her lips felt cool on his warm skin. "Get some sleep" she said placing the cloth on his head and then pulled up the blankets to his chin. "Want me to read to you?" she asked him.

"Please not that stupid romance novel again" he pleaded.

"I found this on your bookshelf" she said holding up Romeo and Juliet.

"I'd like that" he admitted.

Nabiki sat beside him and started reading the opening lines:

_Two households, both alike in dignity,  
>In fair Verona, where we lay our scene,<br>From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,  
>Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.<br>From forth the fatal loins of these two foes  
>A pair of star-crossed lovers take their life,<br>Whose misadventured piteous overthrows  
>Doth with their death bury their parents̓ strife.<br>The fearful passage of their death-marked love  
>And the continuance of their parents̓ rage,<br>Which but their children̓s end, naught could remove,  
>Is now the two-hours̓traffic of our stage;<br>The which if you with patient ears attend,  
>What here shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend.<em>

He was asleep before she even got to the end of the first speech. She closed the book and tip toed out, after retrieving something she'd seen earlier.

Kuno woke up a little while later feeling still sick but oddly content. He tried to analyze what he was feeling and all he could think of to describe it was….he felt safe. He didn't like people playing nursemaid to him as his father always taught him that a man had to be tough even when ill and not to expect anyone to lift a finger, yet he'd molly coddled his daughter when she had the tiniest sniffle. It was this double standard that led to his sister turning into a giant baby to this day and him fighting against his illnesses. His skin tingled where Nabiki had massaged him and he couldn't help but feel grateful to her. Why in kami hadn't anyone ever told him how nice it was having someone fussing over them? Then he shook his head to clear it of this foreign concept and then with a sound of disgust, threw his blankets back, refusing to lie back like a sick old man. He decided that he would do some katas now that that infernal girl had left. So he pulled on a bathrobe and went to where his custom made bokken was situated and frowned to find it gone. Wondering if he left it in the living room, he went to find it, only to find Nabiki watching a movie.

"What are you doing still here?" he demanded.

"I'm making sure you get your rest" she answered, popping a piece of popcorn into her mouth. "What you doing out of bed?" she asked him sharply.

"That is none of your concern; I've no need of your help woman, get on your broomstick and fly away home. Begone" he said.

"Not until Kill Bill is over" she replied.

"You're watching Kill Bill?" he asked in surprise.

"Sure I love Tarrantino," she answered, knowing that he had a weakness for that producer. "Were you looking for something?" she slyly asked him, nudging his bokken further under the couch with her toe. "You weren't planning to work out or anything?"

"N-no, I was just coming to make su-see if you'd left" he said with a nervous laugh.

"Do you want to join me?" she asked him.

"I guess" he said sitting down at a comfortable distance from her, with his back to her.

"You can get closer, I don't bite" she said.

"I'm fine where I am" he replied, and then gasped when she seized both of his shoulders and gave his body a wrench backwards and as he tumbled back…. and his head fell onto her lap.

"What do you think you're doing?" he cried, going to sit up, only to have her press his back.

"You're going to rest and take it easy if I have to tie you to the bed, but that's probably more your sister's department than mine" she commented.

"Why do people always blow that story out of proportion? Yes she tied me up but we were way below the age of puberty and we weren't naked, both of us wore our underwear and all she did was tickle my feet! How did you even hear about that story? It was a long time ago" he demanded, then noticed the weird look on Nabiki's face. "You didn't know about that story until now did you?" he asked her.

"No, but it's rather cute I suppose" she said and then started stroking his hair back from his forehead.

"You're messing up my hair" he complained.

"You have a hot date tonight, Kuno-Baby?" she asked him.

"I don't like having my hair played with" he growled, but had to admit that her cool slim digits felt good on his hot skin, it was soothing being held like this and he soon found himself drifting off to sleep again. Nabiki smiled an oddly tender smile at the boy sleeping boy and then turned the TV over to a romance movie in progress, glad that her setup had worked and that he was comfortably resting.

Kodachi let herself into her house and decide to watch a little TV before dinner; she stopped dead in her tracks and got a bewildered expression on her face to see her normally perfectly groomed brother sleeping on the couch with his dishevelled head resting in the lap of a girl he claimed to hate.

"What's going on here?" she asked and then lowered her voice when Nabiki indicated that she do so.

"Kuno-Baby has the flu, so I got him to rest with a little persuasion" she whispered to her.

"I've never seen him let anyone hold him like that, he normally takes forever to get over being sick because he's too busy pushing himself beyond his limits" Kodachi said.

"I can be very persuasive" Nabiki said "and he's as high as a kite on cold medication, he's not going to wake up until tomorrow at least" Nabiki said.

"But he refuses to take that stuff!" Kodachi said in shock.

"Again I can be very persuasive" Nabiki said. "Want to help me get him into bed?" she asked her. "Come on Kuno-Baby, let's get you to bed" she said gently shaking him awake.

"I think I'm sick Nabiki" he said as he stumbled to his room, supported by both small females.

"You are Kuno-Baby but we'll get you better soon" she promised him and to Kodachi's shock, removed his bathrobe and tucked him into bed.

"Can I have another kiss?" he asked her with a sleepy pout.

"Sure, would you like your sister to kiss you first?" she asked him.

"But we're not _that_ sort of family, no matter what you've heard" Kodachi said in shock.

"He means on the forehead and cheek" Nabiki explained.

"Oh I can do that" Kodachi said with a laugh and did so. "Sleep tight brother dear. Can I get you anything?" she asked.

"More gingerale" he suggested.

"In your old duckie glass? Coming up" Kodachi said hurrying off to get it.

"Duckie glass?" Nabiki questioned.

"I'm not talking" he said. "Can I get my kiss?" he asked her.

"Sure" Nabiki said and gently kissed him on the forehead, cheek and to his surprise, his lips. It was a ghost of a kiss but still made his sigh.

"Now get some sleep, I hid your bokken under your couch, if you use it before three days are out, I'm cramming it into the other place you can take a temperature from" she threatened.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" he asked her.

"It's hard spending your time nursing someone back to health for over a year and not start to care about them. That and I had a debt to settle. We're back to normal as soon as you're better. But until then I guess I can bring you your homework and hang out for a bit" she said. "Perhaps I can even throw in a massage or two."

"You're not what you seem, Nabiki Tendo" he remarked.

"Neither are you, rest well Tachi" she whispered as his eyelids drooped again. He was asleep before she left; never realizing that she'd called him by something other then Kuno-Baby. Nabiki went home without saying goodbye and found herself musing that Kuno was actually kind of cute and blushed uncharacteristically at this observation.


End file.
